Pregnancy Story
For the most part, I was very fortunate to have an easy pregnancy. Patrick joked frequently that I was a pro at being pregnant. Our first of many ultrasounds was scheduled at Boston IVF at 6 weeks. Patrick and I were so excited, but I was also terrified. I spent the first few weeks of pregnancy teetering between feeling elated and in a state of disbelief/shock/and fear that it wouldn't last. No one really warns you that after years of infertility that once you become pregnant your brain doesn't just automatically shift gears to be happy and optimistic. In our case, I had seen disappointment and defeat enough times to expect that it. These feelings would last throughout my pregnancy until the day our baby was born. At six weeks, our tiny baby looked like a grain of rice with a strong heartbeat. After the ultrasound, we texted our immediate family to share the happy news. Everyone was supportive and excited for us.
Although everything with our tiny babe looked great, we opted to do a second
ultrasound at 8 weeks to give me a little extra comfort. Again, I was convinced something was going to go wrong so as I prepared for this ultrasound, I kept reminding myself not to get too excited. Thankfully, the baby looked great. This time, our tiny baby looked more like a gummy bear as it wiggled across the screen. We were so excited to see how much bigger our baby had grown! At this time, we were released from Boston IVF and transferred to the care of my OBGYN.
At 11 weeks, Patrick and I went in for our next ultrasound - the first at my OBGYN's office. This time, our tiny human had grown into what resembled a tiny dancing Halloween skeleton. After this appointment, we decided to announce that we were pregnant. The outpouring of love and support was overwhelming. So many of our friends and family had known about our journey or had gone through a similar journey themselves. Up until this point, my pregnancy was incredibly normal - routine even. At 19 weeks, though, we had to make our first visit to the high risk OB office. Another bit of information that no one tells you when you do IVF is that apparently IVF babies have a higher chance of having heart issues. Because of this, our anatomy scan ultrasound had to be completed with an echocardiogram. It took us three visits in total to complete the fetal anatomy scan with the heart evaluation. We found out at the first appointment that our baby was, in fact, a little lady. We were both over the moon to share the news. For the record, though, I had told Patrick on the day of the transfer that I thought it was a girl embryo. This, scientifically, makes zero sense and would have not been possible for us to know at that time since we hadn't done testing, but I just had a gut feeling. Finding out, that our baby was a girl only solidified my husbands belief that I am actually a woods witch.
After our 19 week scan, we went to the local TJ Maxx and picked up all the items in our announcement photo. It was a joint effort to scour the shelves looking for just the right stuffed animal to showcase that our little love was going to be dressed in pink and bows.
My pregnancy became complicated at week 35 when I woke up two days in a row feeling dizzy. Concerned that it had been continued for days, I was sent to labor and delivery to get checked out. Hours later, we had completed a non-stress test, blood work, provided a urine sample, and had numerous blood pressure checks. In the end, I was discharged with the diagnosis of pre-eclampsia. Suddenly, we went from having around 5 weeks until the baby arrived to 2 weeks. For the next two weeks before I was induced, I had appointments twice a week to check on my blood pressure and to make sure that all was well with our girl.
Induction day
Among the things I never thought I'd say is that I had my baby during a global pandemic. Induction day held a whole array of emotions for me. On one hand, I was excited to meet my little lady and on the other I was terrified that I was about to essentially push a watermelon out of my body. I was insistent that Patrick not see her exit my body positive that the sight would forever change our relationship in a very negative way. I knew going into the hospital that the induction process was a long and potentially multiple day affair. I spent all day Monday on medications to thin out my cervix provided via IV in four hour increments. I started the day at 90% thinned and 1cm dilated and ended the day the same way. The nurses kept telling me not to dismayed by this - that it was completely normal. Although the day went by rather quickly with minimal menstrual like cramps, the cramping became pretty intense by 8pm. I slept very little sleep Monday night because of it. Tuesday morning after another check, a foley bulb was inserted. This is when the doctor puts a catheter into your body and fills it with saline solution. The solution inflated bulb sits at your cervix and is meant to stay there until it falls out when you are 3 cm dilated. This option was preferred by the doctor on call Tuesday morning as she thought it would give me a better chance of delivering naturally than starting pitocin right away. This medieval contraption caused the most intense cramping and from 8am to noon made me incredibly miserable. I was encouraged to have breakfast that morning since by afternoon/evening there was a high likelihood that I would be on clear liquids only. My body thought this was the dumbest idea possible, though, and no sooner did I eat a few bites I threw the food back up. I also started shaking uncontrollably that morning - teeth chattering, knees clattering together, the whole thing. At noon, I opted for some IV meds (gas isn’t available because of COVID), which let me sleep for about an hour. (I'm not the type of person who generally takes medications besides synthroid for my thyroid. So I'm not sure what I expected with these IV meds, but as soon as they were injected it was night night for Kelsey. I was mid sentence with my husband and he said he could see my eyes closing. By 1pm at my check no progress had occurred, but then my water spontaneously broke. They decided at that time to remove the bulb and start pitocin. At 4pm, I was only 2cm dilated and still at 90% thinned, but the pain was becoming unbearable. I opted, even though I was terrified of it, for an epidural at this point. It took 3 tries to get it in, but man oh man the anesthesiologist became my new BFF after about 15 min. I had a small window of pain, but the contraction pain had gone from about a 45/10 to a nice numb 1 (anyone else hate pitocin?).
I was then checked again at 6pm and was at 4cm dilated and 90%. I told Patrick to go home and let the dogs go potty because no one really thought things would pick up quickly. Joke was on us. Around 8 the doctor came to do a check in and I was at 7cm and 100%. She very calmly told me to call and tell him to come back because things were now moving quickly. While she was checking she waited for a contraction to hit before checking again. After that contraction I was at 8cm. Patrick arrived and the doctor almost immediately came back. I was 10cm and it was go time. After about 15min and maybe all of 16 pushes our little lady arrived. Eila Grace arrived into the world on Tuesday, April 28th at 8:45pm. She weighed 5lb10oz and was 18inches of perfection. As soon as they put her on my chest, Patrick and I both started to cry. We kept telling each other that we had done it - we had a baby. Never have I ever been more enamored by another human being or as in love as I immediately was with our sweet girl. I kept kissing her tiny head as I held her tight. I started to feel light headed and dizzy shortly after giving birth. During the process, I had some "deep" tearing in my hoo-ha that the doctor was quickly working to stitch up. I was bleeding pretty heavily because, apparently, baby girls fist of fury had done quite the number on the inside. Once stitched up, we were given time to relax as a new family of three. My nurse brought me what she called the "mommy cocktail" (cranberry, apple, orange juice, and ginger ale) and a toasted English muffin with peanut butter. Almost immediately, I felt better and less light headed.
Soon we were moved to our recovery room, which we stayed in until we were released on Friday. That first night it was so, so hard to go to sleep. I kept finding myself staring at Eila's sweet little face, memorizing every inch of it. Nursing did not come naturally for us during those first few days. Having a baby born at 37 weeks, the nurses warned me that she may struggle to latch and feed. More on this to come in a future post all about my breastfeeding and pumping journey!
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